I do not want her to go
by yuialex
Summary: This is a story written from Sanos point of view about how he deals with Mizuki staying next to him acting as male friend. Can be read together with "I do not want to go", or as a one shot.


This is part to, from Sanos point ov view.

 **I do not want her to go**

Sano

Sometimes he wished he could tell her that he knew she was in fact a girl. A very special young woman.

He found it strange how no one else knew when it was so obvious. It had nothing to do with her clothes, but her air of being and how she behaved. The tune of her voice.

Sometimes he had to shake his head at the ignorance of those around him. They had to be blind. How she could even try to represent a boy he had no idea, he had even walked in on her when she was in the shower. Should she not be more careful?

She has no idea how often he had to cover mistakes she made. What if anyone else saw her like that? In the shower. No, he should not think in those directions since those thoughts made him mad with jealousy. No one but him was suppose to ever see her in those setting, and as things were at this moment even he did not have the right. But he hoped that in the future he would have the exclusive right to see her without clothes.

It is not that he did not want to disclose that he knew her identity. In fact he really wanted her to know he knew.

Unfortunate, things were a lot more complicated than that.

If their friends knew, would they keep quiet?

If she knew he knew, would she still be here with him?

If the school knew, would he ever see her again when they kick her out?

In his mind he could not answer those questions, but he could imagin the outcome.

Their closest group of friends might keep quiet, but the rest he did not know. Nakatsu even thought he was homosexual because of his feelings for Mizuki. He was envious of Nakatsus courage to act on those feelings. How he acted as if anyone else opinion about his feelings was nothing he had to take into consideration. Sano respected Nakatsu for that. He was also jealous of how Nakatsu could touch Mizuki almost without a fear of her taking it the wrong way. Did she not know that japaneese boys usually are not that into touching another.  
Maybe it was normal in America.

As for now the only thing Sano did know was that he was determined not to give her up without a fight.

Everyday was a window into her life and mind, it made him realize how thoroughly delightful she was.

Since he did not want her to leave his side he would keep quiet and manipulate those around them just so he could enjoy to his innocent time with Mizuki. Originally he was no fan of lying, but to keep Mizukis secret he would say anything. Even trying to convince someone that the sky was in fact green if he had to. For now he would endure burn inside with envy and jelousy, because maybe in the future he would get his chance.

If someone found out her secret, the conclusion was that she would have to leave. If she left he would follow, as long as she wanted him to do so. Maybe even without her permission because he just wanted to be near her. Stay side by side.

He was forever grateful for her reassurance that he would jump again. For her to be standing by his side every day, making his life more complicated and exciting.

He knew she just wanted him to manage high jumping again, and at some point he played with the idea of never jumping again so she would not leave his side, forever trying to make him jump.

Unfortunate she might get tired of waiting and in the end leave him if he did not jump. The problem with her brother knowing about her situation and his own problematic situation when it came to high jumping, made him practise everyday. He had at a point of time almost lost her because he was not taking his situation seriously. Never again.

Since he was afraid of losing her he began practising again. Hoping that he could keep her with him longer so that in the end, she would not leave him even if he decided to quit high jumping in the future. He was realistic and knew no one could live of being a high jumper as the years went by. As it was he was even planning back up plan as well. It would be good to have so he could care for her and the family they might have together in the future.

It would not be easy, but his life without her would be even more empty and sad than after his mother's death. Mizuki had become his sun, guiding him into a future with laughter and smiles. Being with her made him feel a calmness he had never felt before settle over him. His family problems were getting easier and he could now have a normal conversation with his father. In a way he had missed his family even if he was the one who refused to talk to them. Mizuki had showed what he missed without him knowing it himself.

For now he turned a blind eye and acted as if his feelings for her was that of a friend. A life without her would be a difficult and miserable one, and not an experience he wanted to live thru.

If he kept on acting long enough maybe she would stop being fascinated. To not only look at him with admiration in her eyes, and instead look at him as a woman looks at a man she is interested in. Maybe even love. He was waiting for that day with mixed feelings.

It would not be easy living this lie for the time being, but it would be worth it if he could keep her close to him in the future as well. To be given the opportunity to build a future together with Mizuki.

I do hope you found this story intersting.


End file.
